21st June 2020 - Fathers day Giving Honour To Whom It's Due

APC 21st June 2020   
 
“Father’s Day – Giving Honour to whom it’s due”
 
Welcome and Introduction
Good morning everyone and welcome to our Sunday morning Service.  Today is Father’s Day.  This morning we will be thanking God for good fathers and reflecting on what it means to honour our fathers and our mothers.  But before we do that, let’s take a moment to talk to God, let’s pray…
 
Prayer
 
Loving God, we come on this father’s day reminded that you are the father of us all.  You have been with us from birth, guiding, nurturing and sustaining us.  You have taught us and brought us to maturity, always concerned for our welfare, constantly seeking the best for us.
 
Father God, we praise you.
 
Whenever we have needed you have been there, willing to listen and advise, yet giving us freedom to make our own choices and find our own way.
 
You have called us to be your family, a people united through your son, Jesus Christ. And through Him you have revealed your love, a love that reaches out to us day by day despite our failure to love you in return.
 
Father God, we praise you.
 
Teach us to live as your children – to hear your voice, obey your instruction and respond to your goodness.
 
Teach us to bear your name with pride, to share with others, through word and deed the joy you have given us.
 
And finally receive our thanks for the fathers you have given us, all they have meat to us, all they have given and all they have done in so many ways.
 
Father God, we praise you.  In the name of Christ, Amen.
 
Lord’s Prayer
 
Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name,
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread, And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us,
And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil,
For Thine is the Kingdom, the power and the glory,
For ever and ever, AMEN.
 
Bible Readings
Exodus 20 v 12
“Honour your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
 
Proverbs 6 v 20-22
20 My son, keep your father’s command
    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
21 Bind them always on your heart;
    fasten them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you;
    when you sleep, they will watch over you;
    when you awake, they will speak to you.
 
Reflection               “Giving honour to whom honour is due.”
 
Today is a very special Sunday, it is Father’s Day.  A day when we give thanks to God for our dads and do something special to let them know we appreciate all they do for us. But as we do that it’s important to acknowledge that this is a day which many people find difficult.  Quiet tears will be shed by many today.  Tears for fathers who have died.  Tears of those who never knew their dads, tears of dads for children who have died, tears of parents who have been rejected by their children, tears of children who were treated badly by their parents.  All in all, Father’s Day is always a day of mixed emotions.
Despite this, today is a unique Sunday in the church year when we celebrate and thank God for our fathers, and when we can take time to reflect on the broader responsibility that God gives us to honour our father and our mother.  That’s what I want us to do for a few minutes this morning.  Our text for the day will be the God’s words to Moses that we find in the fifth commandment –
 
“Honour your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
 
Let me begin by asking an important question….
 
1      Why should we honour our parents?
 
i)      They deserve our gratitude:
 
From the physical side of things we owe our lives to our parents for they are the ones who brought us into the world.  They are the ones who fed us, clothed us and gave us a home for all the years we were growing up.  From an emotional point of view our parents are the ones who have loved us, believed in us, encouraged and supported us until we’ve reached the stage when we’ve been ready to flee the nest and fly solo.  For many of us our parents have sacrificed in order to give us a good start in life like helping us to insure our first car or to get on the property ladder.  The famous Scottish poet William Soutar said, “If I have done anything in life, it is because I was able to stand on the shoulders of my father.”
 
ii)     It is common sense:
 
Our parents have walked the journey of life before us and therefore they know the dangers and the pitfalls in the way.  The person who is unwilling to listen to the voice of experience will almost certainly end up in trouble.  This was true of the great general Napoleon.  His plan was to invade Russia.  He gathered those with experience of the territory around him and asked them “What do you think?  They answered, “We would advise you not to invade this winter because we believe the weather is going to be particularly severe.”  “But how can you be sure?”  Napoleon asked.  “Because the birds have begun to migrate so early general.” they replied. 
 
Napoleon refused to listen to their warning.  He continued with the campaign only to be met by a deadly winter of snow, ice and blizzards.  His Grand Army was almost entirely wiped out.  For Napoleon, this one decision marked the beginning of the end.
It is sensible to listen to what our parents tell us because they have an experience of life that we do not yet possess.
 
Now let me ask a second question…
 
2      How do we honour our parents?
 
i)      Treat them with importance, seriousness and dignity:
 
The Hebrew word translated ‘honour’ in this passage is found elsewhere in the bible.  In these other places it is used to refer to something that is important, substantial, serious, dignified or possessing status.  In biblical terms, therefore honouring of our parents is determined primarily by adopting the right attitude towards them.  If we have the right attitude to our parents then right actions will naturally follow.  Biblically these words direct us to considering our parents as people of great worth and dignity.  Just because they are older doesn’t make them or their views irrelevant.  Quite the opposite in fact.  They are worth listening to.  They are worth spending time talking to.  They are worth looking after- not because we will necessarily receive something in return but simply because of their inherent worth as the ones who made us, the ones who cared for us, ones in whom, however faintly in their best moments we glimpse the image of God.  Even when the years have taken their toll and they barely recognise us or make no sense our parents are worthy of our respect, our care and our time.
 
John, never came to church but I always made a point of visiting him regularly in Belfast.  Despite his lack of attendance I always came away humbled from his home and wondering if he wasn’t a lot closer to the kingdom of God than me.  Because you see John exemplified obedience to this commandment to a degree that I have never seen.  Five years previously he had given up a good job to stay at home and care for his mother who at that time was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.  He did everything for her, almost every day for all those years, with hardly any respite simply because she was his mother and he loved her.
 
Now I’m not suggesting that this is the only way we can honour an ageing parent.  A time may come when we are unable to care for them unaided or when a Nursing Home is the best option for their happiness.  I simply use it as an example of the attitude that we should have towards our parents whatever stage of life they are at.  For when we have the right attitude, our actions will also be right. 
 
If we really appreciate the inherent worth and dignity of our parents, we’ll not treat them as a dumping ground for the kids, we’ll not push them out of church because they are no longer contemporary, we’ll not dismiss their advice because it’s irrelevant in a modern world.  Rather, we’ll make time to include them in our lives, time to make that call, time to listen to the ramblings of the past. We’ll make the effort to send a card, give a gift, drop in during lunch and even muster the courage to say, “I love you.”  What’s more, we’ll find ourselves avoiding a way of life that would bring them shame or break their hearts and adopting attitudes and actions that we know would make them proud.  A friend of Robert Louis Stevenson found him turning over a scrap-book of press cuttings which contained all the praises that had been given to him and his books.  “Well, Louis” he said.  “Is fame all it’s cracked up to be?”  “Yes” he replied, “When I see my mother’s face.”
 
But a 3rd question I think it’s important to ask is-
 
3      What if our parents have made it hard to honour them?
 
None of what I’ve said before is easy.  None of us can honour our parents the way God wants without the internal help and power of the Holy Spirit.  But for some of us the situation is even more difficult because we’ve never really known our real parents or because our parents haven’t treated us the way a parent should.  How can I help you apply this scripture to your own lives? 
To be honest I’m not sure, so I pray your forgiveness if these thoughts are too hard or too removed from the pain of reality.  But let me say this:
 
If we’ve never known our real parents perhaps we can still recall people who cared for us as parents.  Would it be possible to give to them the honour that is their due? Perhaps we have discovered our real parents but have never tried to make contact.  Could God be asking us to honour Him and them by having the courage to make the first move?
 
Even if our parents have been far from perfect or the cause of much of our pain, could God by His grace enable us somehow to forgive?  Could God by His mercy enable us to still honour our parents by not talking badly about them or by trying somehow to show them kindness?
 
By ourselves this is not possible, but however God leads us in our individual circumstances, I believe with Him, all things are possible.
 
The last question I want us to consider is-
 
4      When is right to disobey our parents?
 
In life there can be a higher duty even than honouring our parents.  Jesus said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.”  For most of us this will never happen, but on rare occasions, our loyalty to Jesus can clash with our loyalty to our parents.  For example, suppose a young man or woman feels that God is calling them to be a minister or to go to a far away country to spread the good news about Jesus.  Suppose the parents, in all sincerity thinking of the interests of their children say, “But that job won’t pay you very well, you’ll have no security, or what about the health risks and dangers?”  “Would you not consider something else?” 
 
When this happens, the young man or woman has to be true to their calling to Jesus.  When this happens, it can be a painful clash.  But our last loyalty must always be to Jesus.
 
Let me finish by saying as Christian parents may we encourage our children to follow Christ and if in the future they should choose to give their lives to him in a sacrificial way, difficult as it will be to let them go, may we give them our blessing and our constant support.  For believe me, the costs will be great enough without adding to their burden.
 
The final part of this verse says that if we honour our parents God will reward us with long life.  While experience tells me this can’t be a promise, the principle certainly holds true that if we listen to and follow the wise advice of our parents we are more likely to enjoy our lives and to avoid the things that might shorten our existence.
 
It is my prayer that God may help us all to understand how we might better honour both our parents, not just today, but every day.  Amen.
Prayer
Gracious God, you know the joy of fatherhood and also the pain, for you witnessed the life and death of your son. And you see each day the triumphs and tragedies of us your children.
Lord God our Father, reach out in love.
In Jesus you experienced the delight of being a father – as you watched him grow and mature into adulthood, as you saw him baptised in the Jordan, as day by day he responded to your guidance, faithful to the very last – a beloved son with whom you were well pleased.
Yet you also experienced agony – in the horror of the cross, the pain, the humiliation and the sorrow he endured for our sakes.
Lord God our Father, reach out in love.
In each of us you find pleasure – when we pursue what is good, when we honour your commandments, when we seek your will and respond to your guidance.  But we cause you also so much pain – through our weakness, our repeated disobedience, our deafness to your call and our rejection of your love.
Lord God our Father, reach out in love.
Gracious God, you know the joy and the pain of fatherhood, and so we now pray for fathers everywhere.  Help them to appreciate both the privilege and the responsibility they bear, and teach them to give freely of themselves so that they may discover the happiness, the fulfilment and the inexpressible rewards that fatherhood brings.
Lord God our Father, reach out in love.
Give them wisdom, patience and dedication and grant them strength to persevere when children bring tears as well as laughter, anxiety as well as hope, pain as well as pleasure.
Lord God our Father, reach out in love.
Reach out we pray to all fathers in such circumstances – those who question their ability to cope, or who fear they have failed; those striving to offer support, or who feel they have nothing left to give.
Lord God our Father, reach out in love.
And finally hear our prayer for children who on this father’s day feel pain instead of joy – those whose fathers have died, those orphaned as children, those who have been mistreated, rejected, abused, and those from broken homes who barely see or know their fathers.
Lord God our Father, reach out in love.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
 
Closing Words
 
It’s been a joy and privilege to share with you again today.  Thanks again for logging on.  I hope if you are a dad you are able to have a very happy father’s day.  I trust that all of us have been reminded of how best to show due respect our parents.  Thank you for all your prayers for our church leadership as we have been planning for reopening our Sunday services in a safe and socially distanced way.  We have really known the Lord’s help in our meetings.  We will be sending all of you a letter by email shortly to let you know our plans, to enable you to sign our Covid policy and to give you plenty of time to prepare for what will be a wonderful opportunity to meet together again for worship.
 
I hope you can tune in again on Wednesday morning as we look at Psalm 32 together and discover the amazing freedom God’s forgiveness can bring us.  I also want to say a big thank you for all your support and prayers for my mum who has been moved into hospice care in Belfast which means we are now able to see her.  Next Sunday our new Moderator Rev David Bruce will be leading a service organised by members of our Dublin and Munster Presbytery.  One of the aims of this service is to encourage all our Presbytery members to tune in together and to remind ourselves that we are part of a family that is so much bigger.  It also gives all our ministers a Sunday off!  So please do tune in to that at our normal time of 10.00 am by clicking on the link on our Facebook Page or on our church Website.  To close today, I’m delighted that members of our church choir our going to sing us a beautiful benediction…So may the Lord bless you and keep you…
 
Benediction
 
May God's blessing surround you each day
As you trust Him and walk in His way.
May his presence within guard and keep you from sin
Go in peace, go in joy, go in love.

Call:
 
Because you are sons and daughters of God, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba Father.”
 
Invocation:
 
Almighty God, we rejoice in the privilege of being able to call you our Father.  We bless you that you are a perfect parent one who knows everything, one who is always there for us, one who loves us completely, one who guides us with all wisdom and always for our good, one who disciplines us when necessary but who forgives us immediately we say sorry and buries our failures in the sea of your forgetfulness.  Give us the help of your Spirit in our service this morning so that our singing, our prayers, our attention to your word and our willingness to obey will give you great pride and joy.  This we ask in Jesus name, Amen.
 
Confession and thanks:
 
Father, we thank you for our parents and for all the people who have cared for us and guided us wisely as e have grown up.  We thank you especially for your perfect fatherhood and for the brotherhood we share in your Son the Lord Jesus Christ.  We thank you that He gave His life that we might be reconciled to you.  We thank you that He reigns in heaven, our Great High Priest and that he prays for us every day.  We thank you that you have given us your Spirit to guide us, strengthen and comfort us. 
 
Forgive us when we have taken our parents for granted and when we have not honoured those who have cared for us the way they deserve.  Forgive us when we have not been the parents you would want us to be.  Forgive us when we have rejected your parenthood.  When we neglect to talk to you or to seek your advice through reading your word.  Forgive us when we refuse to obey you and when we spurn your discipline.  Yet we thank you Father, that you are gracious and merciful, that you never stop loving us and that you always stand with open arms waiting for us to return to you.  So cleanse us afresh from our sin and renew daily our relationship with you, with each other, with our parents and with our children.  So may every part of our lives reflect the glory of your Divine Parenthood, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

Intercession:
 
Heavenly Father, from whom all parenthood comes, teach us to be better parents despite our many failures.  Help us to understand our own children and all the children that you place in our care so that they may grow in your wisdom and love according to your will.  Fill us with sensitive respect for the great gift of human life which you have committed to our care, help us to listen with patience to their worries and problems and give us tolerance to allow them to develop as individuals, as your Son did under the loving guidance of Mary and Joseph.
 
We pray for young people growing up in a difficult and dangerous world.  We pray for those who are unemployed or struggling to find employment.  We pray for those taking their first steps in their skill, trade or profession.  We pray for those who feel they have little support from the adults around them.  We pray for those who are caught up in violence, either giving or receiving it.  We pray for all whose lives are being harmed by an abuse of alcohol or drugs.  We pray for those who are morally confused and uncertain about what is right or wrong.  We pray for young Christians as they strive to live out their faith in an unsympathetic world.  We pray for those who are homeless, or orphans and whose lives are overshadowed by disease and cruelty.  We pray for all children who have been abused, bullied or cruelly treated
 
Lord, give us wisdom to know what you want us to do to make life better for all children, youths and young adults in our families, in this church, in our town and nation and throughout the world.  Bless every individual and organisation that genuinely seeks to care for them and grant that through our combined efforts each will grow up to find Jesus as their Saviour and to enjoy life as you intended.
 
These prayers we offer in the name of your only begotten Son who teaches us to pray saying:
 
Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name,
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread, And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us, And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil, For Thine is the Kingdom, the power and the glory, For ever and ever, AMEN.
  
Offering:
 
Heavenly Father, we thank you that as a perfect parent you always provide for our daily needs.  Help us to say thank you by obeying you in every detail of our lives and so bring great honour to your name and great pride and joy to your heart.  In Jesus name we ask it, Amen.